Retirement: The power to decide our next steps

Over the last year, I have worked with a number of clients who have wanted coaching to support retirement decisions. For example, when to go, how to go and then what shall I do once I have finished?

Common themes have emerged. Themes I am sure you will not be surprised by. These include money and personal finance, career planning, health and well-being, connections with friends, family, and communities and how to spend the time. One client asked:

• “What do I do on a rainy, cold Tuesday in February? “

• “I have two voices, one saying go and the other saying stay”

It is not just about stopping work, but also the idea of identity shifting.

In many ways, we are defined by what we do – work! Retirement can mean you no longer have the title of 'work' any longer. When asked “What do you do?” during our working lives, giving an answer is fairly easy. So much of who we are is framed around our work.

So, what do we say when we are retired? How do we speak to our new identity? Thinking and being clear about this can help bring a sense of purpose and meaning to what we do when we retire. We are still the same person if you respond with “I am retired,” and maybe the next part of the conversation can leave us empty and may stop the conversation. The key question is about rethinking and redefining, 'What is my purpose?'

It got me thinking about the word and its meaning, and that we all have different and preconceived notions about what retiring means. I associate it with stopping work and, depending on circumstances, drawing income from sources such as pensions, annuities, and savings to sustain you, and also health and even caring responsibilities for our elderly parents. But it is also associated with some of the preconceived notions we have, like growing old, stepping back, but equally taking on new challenges and adventures and getting out there and making a go of it. We now live longer, are much more active, healthier, and have plenty of living still to do. So, those labels of stepping back, taking it easy, and watching our health no longer ring quite so true.

One of the challenges is facing the stigma associated with the term ‘retirement.’ To some, the label feels like you are withdrawing from life. Yet we are living longer, are healthier, feel we have so much more to offer to give, yet ageism can be a significant obstacle both practically and emotionally. We may feel active, have lots to offer, yet know that when you reach a certain age, the more disproportionate the challenges are. Even just thinking about advancing your work, or even thinking about a career change. Coaching can help us take a deeper look at ourselves and reframe these more positively. And break the stereotype to give a new-world picture. I am retired and loving it… Then tell about the things you feel a sense of purpose or higher meaning in. That sounds like a better and more fulfilling space!

Retirement is not just the end of a career; it is a transition that also reshapes identity. For many, work provides a sense of purpose, structure, and social connection, so stepping away can mean losing a part of ourselves. Yet retirement also offers the freedom to redefine personal identity – exploring passions, deepening relationships, and embracing new roles in family, community or even work. It is a time to reflect on who we are beyond our job titles and to craft a fulfilling life that aligns with our values and aspirations. Rather than an endpoint, retirement can be a new beginning, where identity is shaped not by obligation but by choice. There is also a sense of now or never. One client said:

• “There is no time for any more rehearsals.”

• “The question I usually find myself asking is 'How do I structure this newfound time?'”

Health and well-being are also significant! As well as living longer, maintaining our health and well-being, both physical and mental, has an effect on our quality of life and ability to remain connected and active. While living longer, it is also important to note that this does not always equate to good health and can feel paradoxical. Health can also have implications for what we do, when and how, as well resources we may need to draw upon.

Chronic conditions such as diabetes, heart disease, and arthritis are becoming more prevalent in the ageing population, as are mental health concerns such as depression and cognitive decline. These health issues not only affect the quality of life but also how we spend it. Therefore, it’s important we focus on extending healthy, active lifestyles as we age Health for a fulfilling retirement.

It is also important not to underestimate the impact of loss and change, especially the significance our working life has had on our everyday life and with that our identity.

Adjusting to retirement can be a profound shift, but there are several strategies that can help maintain a keen sense of identity when navigating retirement and next steps.

How to maintain your identity when navigating retirement

1. Take initiative and start thinking and planning early

Consider how to make the change or transition. Often retirement is seen as one day you are at work and then the next day you are not. It is a bit like jumping from a height, which can seem abrupt compared to taking a phased and planned approach.

2. Redefine your purpose

Engaging in activities that align with personal values, such as volunteering, mentoring, or consulting, can provide a renewed sense of meaning. Take time to understand finances and income sources and develop a financial plan. Understanding your needs and wants are important markers. This might include a mix of traditional employment, freelance work, and passive income sources. Work out your budgets. It is helpful to have discussions with family. These may include conversations about inheritance expectations and long-term care needs. This can help align family financial planning and avoid future conflicts.

3. Continue learning and challenging yourself

Learning can lead to career progression, new pursuits and is good for our minds, building good mental health, building our self-esteem and confidence, as well as opening up new possibilities for growth. Embrace new learning. Exploring new interests, taking courses, or developing new skills can help shape a fresh identity beyond work.

4. Prioritise health and wellness

Maintain your physical and mental health to support you in staying well and active. Health issues are one of the leading causes of early, unplanned retirement. Being proactive about your health, having regular check-ups, a balanced diet, and consistent exercise can help maintain health and extend your ability to work.

5. Transform skills into passions

You can repurpose your professional expertise into hobbies, teaching, or creative pursuits to maintain a sense of contribution.

6. Build and maintain your connections

These can be work-related connections, community connections, or friendship. All create a sense of belonging and being valued.

7. Seek support

Talking with friends, family, or professionals about the transition can ease feelings of loss and provide guidance.

Retirement is an opportunity to craft a fulfilling new chapter – one that reflects personal growth rather than just career achievements. Remember, retirement is not an identity. It is only a statement of how you draw your income in the next stage of life. You decide your identity and what you do with your time.

Coaches can provide clarity, direction, and focus and can offer accountability and help you define your purpose. Through their skills and resources, a coach can bring exploration and insights, encourage reflection and understanding of the challenges faced and help address the issues holding you back.

A coach can support you in finding what matters, what’s been holding you back, taking that next move, setting goals with you, building your self-esteem, and supporting you to take the steps you need to achieve your goals and make a positive difference for yourself and also for those around you.

Working with a coach can help rethink the story you want as you step through the stages of pre-retirement to post-retirement. Talking can support decision making and building a sense of control and resilience as your next steps are contemplated. A story not just about ‘ceasing to work’ or ‘withdrawing’, but a story where you get on with living life however you want. You can just take it easy and rest, or you can get out there and do something thrilling and a bit daunting.